Depression

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Thirty four years ago, on this day, February 15, my mother took her own  life.  Thirty four years…….the number almost slaps me in the face.  So many years, so many memories.  Today, always brings up the negative.  The vivid memories that I hold about that day.  The pain and grief.  Typically I allow myself to dwell on the negative just for today.  I replay the details of that day over and over in my mind.  I decided that this year, I would dwell just a little less.  I would do what I love to do, and at the same time, put the message out there that we are not alone.  I wanted to create an image about DEPRESSION.  More specifically, what I think it may feel like to have depression.  I must admit, I do not know exactly what it feels like, so this image may not reflect accurately what it feels like to those suffering from depression. I do however know first hand what it feels like to lose someone to suicide so part of those emotions obviously come into play in this image.  This is just my interpretation.  SO please do not take offence if it doesn’t reflect your interpretation or experience.   To me, I imagine the weight of depression being so overwhelming and all encompassing.  The weight being so heavy that is causes the floor to give out from underneath you yet, due to it’s weight you are helpless.  You simply cannot having  resist or fight.  It must be a terrifying state to be in….almost like being trapped in the overwhelming heaviness.  Alone and isolated even if people are around you.  When I showed this image to my son, he asked if she was breaking through the floor? more of an upward motion than a downward one.   My intention making this image was that she was falling through the floor due to heaviness of her melancholy, yet when I saw the image through his eyes, I saw something very different.  I saw hope.  Hope that by talking openly about mental illness, we can shed the weight of the stereotypes and negative connotations.  That people suffering from depression will not feel alone and will seek out the help that they need.  If you or someone you know is suffering from depression, please get help.  Let’s all do our part to lighten the weight associated with mental illness   

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